


Something Else

by hetrez



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Ancient Technology, Angst, Blow Jobs, Giant Sentient Plants, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-21
Updated: 2005-09-21
Packaged: 2017-10-28 17:34:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/310349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hetrez/pseuds/hetrez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It hurts and it's remarkable, and he would do it all his life."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something Else

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Slodwick's Worst Case Scenario Multifandom Challenge. My worst case scenario was How To Move Along The Top Of A Moving Train. This is a Trinity post-ep, with spoilers up to and including Trinity. I have also included several quotes from same.
> 
> One note: This story is the unholy love child of the episode Trinity, Goluxexmachina's thoughts on that episode (where I got my information about Harry Daghlian and became convinced that McKay/Sheppard is the pairing of deception and woe), and a New York Times article I read once about how the Pentagon has established a grant that will pay scientists to write screenplays. No joke; apparently they consider it a "matter of national security" that kids don't think science is cool, and their brilliant solution to that little dilemma is to film "Bridget Jones's Systems Analysis Journal" or something. Oddly, I didn't end up mentioning screenplays in my story.
> 
> With thanks to my lovely betas, Christina, Sternel, and The Pouncer. This story would not be nearly the thing it is if they hadn't held my hands, let me fidget, and pushed me in the right directions at the exact right times.

"I never liked going to record stores," Rodney says. "The ones in the States, anyway. I always chose the one horrible album by any good band in history. You try to be cautious, to be discerning. To make decisions not based on cover art or Teen Beat's weekly top ten list, and you end up buying Rammstein's Honky Tonk. It was – very distressing."

Rodney tries to speak clearly for the benefit of the radio. It's a strange feeling, to talk for this long without Sheppard's interruption, but also oddly liberating. He's already ranged over topics such as deforestation, James Bond gadgetry, and his opinion of battle strategies of the War of 1812. Rodney has an index card in his pocket with notes scribbled on it, in case he runs out of ideas.

He taps a command into his computer, and the energy readings for the panel in front of him spike slightly, briefly. Radek's on his laptop at the front of the room, the far corner from where Rodney is sitting; he nods when Rodney looks over.

Rodney says, "It looks like we're done here. I'm going to disconnect primary power so we can bring the rerouted systems online. You may get a few brownouts down there."

"Understood. Sheppard out." His radio clicks.

-

Rodney said, "Elizabeth, it's _perfect_." He set his elbows on the conference table and leaned forward, almost bouncing. "I'm appalled that no one here has thought of it before."

Elizabeth shook her head. "Rodney, we did think of it. After our first encounter with the Genii, I asked Dr Olson to look into hydroponics as a viable means of food production, and she --"

"Yes," Rodney said, "I understand, but."

She spoke over him. "If you'd read the report I sent you --"

"'The current energy restraints of the city, coupled with our lack of organic resources and equipment' and on and on. I _know_. But I'm telling you, these _people_." He couldn't explain it. The way he'd felt standing in the boat and watching, and then later, helping Essin bandage her wrist; her blood drying on his fingers and making them sticky. He'd washed his hands with his water canteen and thought about the Wraith, about mouths. He said, "The Otorians live on a world where science like this is _possible_. Organically. You saw what we brought back with us. If I can work with their people to incorporate --"

"Rodney," Elizabeth said, and Rodney stopped. "Even if I were prepared to devote time and resources to a project like this, there's still a question of ethics. I can't ask these people to risk themselves to feed us."

Rodney said, "Elizabeth," because she had to understand, but Elizabeth leaned forward over the table and looked at him and said, "You don't get to ask me this," and Rodney looked down. The others at the table were silent.

After a moment, Sheppard said, "Otori's been farming like this for a couple hundred years, so they say. I don't think they're going to stop if we take our business elsewhere." Rodney's head came up. He looked over to Sheppard's side of the table, but Sheppard was looking down at his own fingers, spread out in front of him on the tabletop.

Elizabeth said, "John? You think this is a good idea?"

Sheppard shrugged. "I think if we don't need it now, we might later," he said. "What they were doing there seemed pretty extraordinary. If we can find a way -- painlessly -- to adapt their system to ours," he shrugged again, and looked up at her. "We should take the chance."

Elizabeth frowned, and breathed out. She looked -- tired, Rodney thought. For a second, he wished that it wasn't possible, that he didn't know how. She said, "Dr Zelenka?"

Radek said, "I believe it can be done."

She watched him for a moment and then said, "I want a full report -- from both of you -- on what your plans are before I give my permission. We're going there to finalize the trade agreement in a few days. I'll see the farmers myself."

Rodney said, "Thank you," but she shook her head and stood up.

Radek went over to Beckett and said something about arm guards, and trinium. Rodney watched as they got ready to leave together. He turned to say his thanks to Sheppard, but Sheppard was already walking out the door.

-

Rodney says, "Power levels are stable." He starts tucking wires back into the open wall panel, and smiles. It feels uncomfortable, like his mouth has forgotten what it’s doing. "This is going to work."

Radek shuts his laptop. He says, "I appreciate American record stores."

"Of course you do. If the Czech Republic is anything like Siberia, the extent of the music available is a used A-Ha cassette and a copy of the White Album."

Radek says, "We also had the Clash."

There are two Marines with them, a corporal and a lieutenant. They came in before Radek and Rodney to secure the area, but after Rodney explained to them how delicate and potentially volatile his experiment was, and what sort of catastrophe would befall if he were to be distracted, they went to stand across the room from him, by Radek and the door.

Rodney looks over at them. "And you gentlemen? Should I ask if your duty as protectors of the free includes attending any Garth Brooks concerts?"

The corporal says, "Nah. I like Beethoven."

Elizabeth had suggested that they monitor the connection at both ends, so Sheppard is down by the central water reclamation system with Simpson, in case anything goes wrong.

Sheppard assigned the teams. He'd given the roster to Elizabeth, who showed it to Rodney, and when Rodney asked what Sheppard was doing Elizabeth said she trusted his judgment.

On their walk to the water tanks, Sheppard did radio tests to make sure of their range, then said, "McKay, we're in position," and didn't answer when Rodney started talking.

-

Rodney followed him out of the conference room. "Colonel," he said. Sheppard didn't stop. "Colonel Sheppard," Rodney said again.

Sheppard turned around and said, "Yeah, McKay?"

Rodney said, "I noticed," and then stopped. He pulled his shoulders back, straightened his spine. "Some differences. In the way you treated me this past mission." He breathed in, and waited. The air felt heavy in his mouth.

Sheppard said, "I've never been very good at subtle."

Rodney stood still for a moment, and then nodded, his breath whooshing out. Something in his chest felt squeezed too tight, and painful. "I think it's affecting our team performance."

"Is that so?"

"Yes." The tight feeling spread to his stomach, and his arms. His shoulders wanted to hunch in over his ribcage. "I would rather not leave the team. But if it's the only way we can be civil with each other, I'll consider it."

Sheppard's face went blank, and then his eyes narrowed. "Rodney," he said, "Harry Daghlian was hospitalized the same day as the accident."

Rodney said, "What?"

"He was hospitalized," Sheppard stepped closer, "and wasn't released until twenty-six days later, when they gave his body to the morgue."

Rodney wanted to look away, but he couldn't stop watching Sheppard's face. "That's --"

"There's no record of any experiments or information he gathered from his hospital bed."

After the weapon, the terror and flying for their lives toward the Stargate, after Elizabeth had yelled at him, the apologies he'd made -- afterwards, Rodney had gone to Sheppard and said, 'I hope one day to earn that back.' Sheppard had told him, 'I'm sure you can.' He'd asked Sheppard to trust him and Sheppard _had_ , and what could he possibly say to this?

Rodney tipped his chin up and said, "Yes."

Sheppard stepped closer, and again, until he was right in front of Rodney. He said softly, "I am being civil. And you will leave my team when I say you can."

He turned and walked back down the hall. Rodney stood where he was and watched him, and tried to breathe.

-

Radek is packing up his laptop while Rodney disengages one by one from the primary systems. He types the exit command into his computer and sets the panel back into the wall. When he picks up his bag he can feel the sloshing weight in the side pocket, and he smiles. He'd forgotten he brought this.

He says, "Radek, have you tried the tea we brought with us?"

The tea they serve on Otori is thick and richly smoky and a little sweet, of a purple color not often found in nature. Rodney loves it. It's just like coffee because it makes the world sharper and takes his headache away, and yet not at all like coffee, because Atlantis has an _unlimited supply_ as part of their trade agreement. No requisitions, no Daedelus schedule to plan around. No briny taste in his mouth the way the MRE coffee packets sometimes leave.

Radek says, "I have not yet had the pleasure."

Rodney checks his laptop. It has disconnected from the water reclamation system and is shutting down its programs. A few more minutes, and he can pack up. He says, "Funnily enough, that device we found that Kavanagh said looked like an Ancient thermos? Is actually an Ancient thermos." He unzips his side pouch. "I took the liberty of testing its holding capacity this morning, with Otorian tea. Gentlemen?"

The corporal Sheppard assigned to them shakes his head, but the lieutenant says, "Yeah, thanks."

"Radek?"

Radek says, "If it is for research . . ."

Rodney grins.

It's approximately twenty feet from Rodney's laptop to the center of the room, and twenty more feet from the center to Radek and the Marines. Rodney leaves his laptop over by the wall.

He's close to the center of the room, thermos in his hand, when he is struck by the thought of Sheppard, of what Sheppard might be doing now. Of Sheppard's jacket, and the way he plays with numbers. How Sheppard's hips tilt outward sometimes when he leans against the wall and counts.

How Sheppard looked in the jumper after they came through the gate, when Rodney had said, "Good flying," and Sheppard had only said, "Yeah, McKay. It was."

He is holding the thermos in one hand while he walks, but it drops from his fingers when the room begins to shake.

-

There was a room on the south pier that seemed like it could work. Radek was cautiously optimistic when they made their report to Elizabeth. Rodney was silent.

He was at the top of the stairs and headed back to his lab when Elizabeth called him into her office again. She said, "Rodney, Dr Zelenka's report -- is there something I should worry about?"

Rodney said, "I've been thinking."

She nodded, looking tense.

He said, "Five sixths of a solar system."

Elizabeth's face changed. She leaned back in her chair, away from Rodney, and said, "Yes."

He looked around the room, at Elizabeth's statues, the desk, the door. Rodney hadn't seen the explosion, but he'd accessed the Daedelus's logs. He said, "I don't know whether it was populated."

After a moment, Elizabeth stood up and walked around her desk. She put her hand on Rodney's shoulder. "It’s a good room you two found," she said gently.

-

Rodney loses his balance and falls on his side. He thinks, We're sinking. The floor is shaking underneath his head, and Rodney thinks he can feel the water rising up over the pier. He tries to push himself to his feet but slips, taking all his weight on his elbows and then curling up around them, pain spiking through his arms. He rolls over onto his back and closes his eyes. No, no, no.

It feels like an earthquake, like they're breaking apart. The back of Rodney's head jounces on the tiled floor, and each time he knocks it there's another name, another person he can't save. Elizabeth in the control room, water rising over the balcony rail. Carson watching it out of the infirmary window. Sheppard down in the bowels of the city, not knowing what's happened until the walls fall in. Sheppard.

Rodney rolls over onto his hands and knees and tries to crawl. First he thinks, Radek can -- and then, My _laptop_. The floor lurches under him and he almost falls again.

There's a noise from somewhere like a door knocking shut, the screech of metal and a loud slam. Rodney manages to crawl about a foot, his knees vibrating, the bones in his hands aching, when he hears it again. And again. The room gives a final shake, rocking to one side like a cradle, knocking Rodney down again, and there is another slamming sound, this one closer to his head, he thinks. After that the room is still.

Rodney stays where he is for a moment, lying facedown and braced on his arms. Then he remembers his laptop. He scrambles to his feet, looking around for Radek, the Marines, the door. He takes a step forward and almost walks straight into the sky.

He doesn't understand at first, all he can think is, Not drowned, we're not drowned. But then his brain does a little flip, and he's looking out a window. There is a wall a foot away from him, maybe two, and when he looks off to his right there is another wall, and another window, more sky. He turns slowly in place, looking all around -- this new room is maybe ten feet by ten feet, with windows everywhere, and one of them shows only ocean and blue and clouds but on the other three sides Atlantis is there. He looks at the towers, spilling upward and out farther than the glass can show him.

Rodney breathes in, and tries to get his heart to calm down. Not drowning. He starts to laugh, breath ragged, and leans against the window, watching his city.

The city is lovely like this. Rodney's seen Atlantis from the puddle jumper window, and when he was down by the grounding stations, but never like this. It is perfectly framed in his windows, and --

He's too high to be on the pier.

Rodney's heart starts pounding again. He stares out, watching balconies slowly fall below the windowsill and out of sight, and says, "Oh, no," quietly, even though there's no one here to listen. His legs give out and he sits on the floor, looking upward, watching as the room he's sitting in rises slowly up through the city toward the sky.

-

He made a formula to try to calculate the number of people he'd. If he had.

If each planet in the solar system had been populated -- say 23% to 70% of the planet's surface covered, depending on the arable land; variable population density; using the average size of planets in the Pegasus galaxy, Rodney might have killed --

He went to Sheppard's room again.

Sheppard looked like he was going to say something, or maybe just shut the door, but he looked at Rodney's face and then stepped aside to let him in. Sheppard said, "Yeah?"

Rodney thought, Just once more. Try once more, and then stop. He waited until the door closed behind him, and said, "I."

Sheppard crossed his arms.

"I wanted to. To thank you, I haven't yet said thank you, for, well. Saving me."

Something broke in Sheppard's expression. Rodney watched his face and thought maybe he'd never stop fucking this up, and suddenly Sheppard was _there_ , right in front of him, and Sheppard's hands were on his chest and shoving him back into the wall, pushing him into it until he felt short of breath and his shoulder blades ached. Sheppard's hands moved up over his collarbone, fingers digging in. Rodney stared up at Sheppard's face and Sheppard said, "We were going. To die." His voice was low and angry.

Rodney said, "To be fair, the number of times since we've come here that our --"

Sheppard pressed his hands hard into Rodney's chest, pushing himself away. He turned around, and turned back. " _McKay_ ," he said. "Do _not_ be like that." He ran a hand through his hair, pulling it up in weird clumps, and looked -- lost. Rodney started to get hard.

He said, "You saved us," and tried to will the front of his jacket down to cover it.

Sheppard's face twisted, and something in Rodney's stomach did, too. He pushed his shoulders back into the wall, holding them there, wishing it was Sheppard holding them.

"I did no such thing."

"But. What you said about the pilots, and you knew the weapon was dangerous before I did."

"The Daedelus intercepted shots meant for us, and that gave us enough time to go through the gate." There was something very close to self-hatred in his face.

Rodney put his arm out, but not far enough that his hand touched Sheppard's. "The Daedelus didn't fly us out of there. You did."

Sheppard said, "Shut _up_."

Rodney closed his mouth, and they looked at each other. He wanted Sheppard's hands on his neck again. He thought, Sheppard is angry with me, and the thought made his chest hurt, made heat pool in his stomach. He took a step forward, putting himself into Sheppard's personal space.

Sheppard said, "Look, Rodney," and stopped. He put his hands over his face.

Rodney reached out, not quite knowing what he was going to do, and drew a fingernail down Sheppard's side, scratching along the line of his uniform jacket. Sheppard shuddered, his breath hitching, and Rodney, fascinated, did it again. Sheppard kept his head down, but leaned into Rodney's hand; his breath came faster.

Rodney stepped closer, so that his chest brushed up against Sheppard's arm, the material making "shh, shh" noises where they were touching. He reached his other hand up, and stroked Sheppard's neck lightly. Sheppard shuddered again, and his hands came down; without them in front of his face Rodney could see his eyes were closed. Sheppard put a hand in the center of Rodney's chest, curling and straightening his fingers. Rodney leaned forward, and then stopped.

He wanted to kiss Sheppard very badly, and Sheppard didn't seem to be stopping him. Sheppard still had his head down, face tilted to the side, but Rodney could see the corner of his mouth and wanted to put his tongue there. Sheppard was breathing hard, his hand curled around the material of Rodney's shirt, and Rodney felt like he couldn't breathe at all. If he'd known this was what it took to get Sheppard to forgive him -- he couldn't even imagine. Rodney started to grin.

He said, "If I really try, huh?" and waited for Sheppard to laugh, for them to laugh together like before.

But Sheppard's shoulders jerked back and his head came up, and he looked at Rodney like Rodney had punched him, like Rodney had hit him hard enough for it to hurt. And Rodney figured that must have been the absolute worst thing he could have said.

Sheppard stepped back. Rodney wanted to follow, but he made his feet stay where they were. He tried to smile, and said, "That was a --" but Sheppard said, "Get out," in a voice Rodney hadn't ever heard before, not even when he was talking to Kolya. Rodney nodded, and walked out of the room.

-

His radio says, "Rodney," with Sheppard's voice.

Rodney puts his hand up to his headset, feeling it press against his palm. "Colonel?" He doesn't look away from the window, but watches the city falling slowly down outside it. His voice feels very small.

"Rodney, listen to me. Is there a controller where you are? A panel with buttons on it?"

" _What_?"

"Some way of -- steering. Of turning it around."

Rodney bristles. "Of course there is, Colonel. Obviously I haven't used it because I was waiting for permission."

"Just look. For me."

He looks around, just small stretches of smooth metal wall between large stretches of glass. "There's _nothing_ ," he says. "Windows, there are windows. I can watch as I plummet to my _death_."

"Can you think it off or something?"

Rodney stares incredulously around. "Oh, yes," he snaps, "I want to turn off a flying device when it’s a _hundred feet_ above the ground." The feeling of fear he had before, the hopelessness, is fading in the face of Sheppard's supreme idiocy, to be replaced with a familiar feeling of irritation and disgust. That most of the disgust is directed at himself for leaving his laptop by the wall where he couldn't reach it is inconsequential. He can deal with this. This is something he can do.

Sheppard says, "Okay, hang in there," and Rodney almost wants to laugh.

He thinks, Power surges. The control room -- systems that monitor the city. Rodney says, "Tell Radek to go to the control room."

"He's already there." Sheppard sounds out of breath. "He radioed Elizabeth. We're on top of it."

This time Rodney _does_ laugh, a sharp, high-pitched giggle. Maybe he's more afraid than he's letting himself believe. He says, "Obviously not."

Sheppard grunts, and says, "One second."

"Oh, I assure you, I'm not going anywhere." He waits for a minute, but there's no answer from Sheppard. Outside his windows, the city keeps falling. The room is moving almost comically slow. Rodney might think this was funny if he wasn't in here.

Suddenly, Sheppard says, "Hey, do you know you have a skylight?"

"What?" Rodney looks up, and the sky is there. "How the --"

"Stand back. Stand in a corner."

"Excuse me, what --"

"Cover your face, McKay."

Rodney puts his arm over his face, and waits. There is the sound of breaking glass, and a rain of shards falling onto his uniform sleeve, his hair. Then there is a thumping noise, and the sound of someone's breath whooshing out. When he puts his arm down, Sheppard is in the room with him. Rodney stares.

Sheppard looks around, and says, "This is nice." He is out of breath, holding a roll of rope that snakes back up through the broken window in the ceiling, and a long metal bar. "Kinda sparse, though."

Rodney keeps staring. He says, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Sheppard sets down the bar he's holding. "This place really isn't moving very fast. Dr Zelenka told us what happened, and I took a transporter to a supply closet." He grins. "Here's the cavalry."

Rodney says, "I am _wonderfully_ reassured," and tries not to feel the warmth of it when Sheppard smiles. They're not drowning, the city is fine, and Sheppard is here, looking at him and talking to him, not acting like the painful almost-stranger he had been. Even if it is ridiculous and how could he have possibly _gotten_ here? "What did you do, rappel off a balcony?"

Sheppard says, "Well."

"You _rappelled off a balcony_? Why didn't you just get a puddle jumper and follow me? Or use the Daedelus to transport me out of here?"

"Look," Sheppard says, "it was a command decision, all right? I heard what was happening, I went with my instincts."

"Even though your instincts told you that _spelunking_ was safer than using Ancient technology."

Sheppard opens his mouth to answer, but then Rodney's radio says, "Rodney? Is Colonel Sheppard with you?" It's Elizabeth.

Sheppard says, "I'm right here, Elizabeth. We're getting out of here as soon as we can."

Elizabeth says, "Colonel Caldwell is ready to transport you out."

"No need," Sheppard tells her. "We can handle it."

Rodney looks over, shocked. "What? There is _every_ need."

"I said," Sheppard turns toward him and speaks slowly, softly. "I can handle it." Rodney stares at him and, after a moment, nods. Sheppard says, "We'll radio if we need help."

Elizabeth is silent for a moment, and then says, "Understood. I'll see you back here," and his radio clicks off.

Sheppard takes a look around. Rodney watches him turning in place, taking in the walls and the windows, the broken skylight, the complete lack of anything useful with which to rescue themselves. After he's finished looking he turns to Rodney and leans forward on his toes, bouncing up and down. He says, "Well."

-

Otori was like what Rodney imagined Venice must be. The day they'd first arrived, the mayor of one of the closer cities met their party in a longboat, rowing up to the gate platform and jumping out to greet them. The water had smelled sugary and metallic, nothing like Atlantis's ocean, and even from the Stargate, nearly a mile away from the city, Rodney had seen the gardens people were growing on the water, and the vines and flowers lining the canals.

He watched Elizabeth's face as she stepped away from the event horizon and looked around. She'd seen the MALP readings and read their reports -- she'd known what to expect before she got here. But the water was a strange bluish purple that Rodney hadn't spoken of in his field report, and the air was humid and bright with sunlight. He'd seen the MALP pictures himself and it had still taken him by surprise.

This time they were met by the secretary of their tri-city cabinet, along with the mayor's brother, and Essin, her wrist still wrapped in bandages. She waved, and launched herself out of the longboat, running over to greet them. She went to Teyla first and hugged her.

Teyla said, "Essin, this is Dr Elizabeth Weir. She is our leader."

Essin's eyes went wide, and she reached up solemnly to take Elizabeth's hand. Elizabeth looked at her bandaged wrist, and reached down just as gravely to shake with her. She shot Rodney a look that said, very clearly, that Rodney hadn't mentioned Essin was _twelve_ in his field report, and if the way that they farmed hurt minors it was not acceptable to her.

Rodney tried not to grin. Elizabeth was absolutely going to okay his project; she just didn't know it yet.

Essin went over to Sheppard, and he rubbed her hair and checked her bandage. Rodney watched Sheppard's fingers on the white fabric, but then Sheppard looked up at him and Rodney looked away. After Sheppard was done checking, Essin went to Ronon and stuck her hand out, smiling when he pulled a powerbar out of his pocket and gave it to her. She came to Rodney last, and stood there and looked at him. He said, "What?"

Essin didn't answer.

" _Yes_? Hello?"

Nothing.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what you want." She didn't say anything, but her eyes got bigger and rounder. Rodney sighed. "All right, would you like to sit next to me in the longboat?" Essin nodded, and went back to stand by the landing party.

The secretary said, "Welcome. We offer a tea ceremony to all our guests, and bring food, with special thanks, to those we trade with. Will you please come with us?"

Elizabeth said, "Before we drink with you -- I am very interested in seeing how your people farm tollan dust." She pulled her right hand up to her chest, and rubbed her wrist with the fingers of her left. "My colleagues explained the process to me, and I found it fascinating."

The secretary looked at Elizabeth's wrist, and then watched her face for a long minute. He said, "Of course, that must come before any agreement can be reached."

Elizabeth smiled and put her hands down. "I'm glad you see it that way," she said.

They rowed away from the gate platform across the water, past piers and single, isolated houses raised on stilts. Once they reached the outer limit of the city, the boat turned aside from the central canal and rowed until they reached a smaller side canal, one that showed fenced-in backyards with little canoes tied to railings. There were some people sitting out on their back porches, and they watched as the boat rowed past, but aside from a few who waved to the secretary no one paid their group much notice.

The secretary took them to a large, water-filled enclosure; Rodney thought it might be the same one he'd seen his first day. They opened the gate and rowed carefully in, moving slowly forward till the tip of the longboat nearly touched a large green leaf.

The enclosure sat between two low buildings, and from one building to the other a fine-mesh net was strung up above the water, covered in purple stains. The enclosure was filled with water lilies. They were longer across than Rodney's arms, their heavy white petals unfolding onto the water, the tips of the petals looking knife-sharp in the sunlight. At the center of the closest lily, Rodney could just barely see a fine purple dusting on the petals.

The mayor's brother took off his jacket and stood up, but Essin said, "May I try, please?" He frowned, and she said earnestly, "I'm almost healed. Da says it's better."

He said, "You will not be fast enough."

Essin said, "I will."

The mayor's brother looked at her, and she fidgeted with her shirt cuff but didn't look away. He turned to Elizabeth and said, "Dr Weir, Essin will show you how we collect tollan dust." He sat down again.

Essin stood and walked to the front of the boat, leaning over. Very slowly, she dipped her bandaged hand into the water by the closest leaf, and then stroked her fingers along the center of the leaf, leaving trails of water that ran down in droplets to the tip. The lily made a quiet rumbling sound, and shook its petals slightly. Elizabeth turned to Rodney and raised her eyebrows, but he waved at her to look forward again.

The secretary said to Elizabeth, "In the past we have tried using sticks, and soft fabric. The leaves rip, and the tolla die. Our only useful tools are human hands, and so you see the dilemma we have reached."

Essin got more water and stroked the leaf again, and again the lily growled and resettled its petals like duck feathers. She did it a third time, turning her head like she was listening, and Rodney could see that her eyes were closed, a look of concentration on her face. Rodney had asked her, once, how long she'd been doing this, and she said, "It is the earliest thing I remember."

She stroked it a fourth time, and the growl was louder, then a fifth and it was louder still, and after the fifth she nodded and wiped the water off on her skirt. Slowly, very slowly, she leaned forward, out over the leaf, stretching her hand out until it almost touched the outer petals, and then she slowly reached down to the base of the closest petal and ran one finger up in a swift line over the central vein. The lily gave a violent jerk and its petals snapped together like jaws, the tip of one catching Essin's sleeve and ripping the fabric.

Essin shoved herself backwards, landing gracelessly on top of Rodney, and he almost fell back into Teyla and the secretary before he caught himself and set her on her feet in the boat. She grinned and showed him her right hand: the smooth white bandage on her wrist, no blood, no other injury, and the large ragged chunk that had been taken out of her shirt sleeve. He said, "I'm sure you're proud of yourself."

Above the center of the lily a cloud of purple pollen billowed upward. The lily snapped its petals a second time, and the force of it pushed more pollen up into the air, to waft slowly into the mesh net hung up at the top of the enclosure. Rodney watched Elizabeth, saw her look at the purple dust drifting, settling, caught in the net above them. Saw her look at Essin, who was inspecting her torn sleeve and frowning. Elizabeth turned to the secretary and said, "That's -- remarkable."

The secretary said, "It is. In all the centuries that the tolla have been with us, for all our injuries and all the pain they can inflict, this is the reason we have not stopped. It _is_ remarkable."

Elizabeth smiled at him, and then looked back up at the net above them, and Rodney thought, Oh, yeah. No question.

-

"So," Sheppard says, "how'd you get it to fly in the first place?"

Rodney says, "I did exactly _nothing_."

"You sure? No little doohickeys lying around that you might have picked up? Remember, you have the gene now."

"Yes, Colonel, thank you for reminding me. And thank you for persisting with your notion that I'm an extraordinary _imbecile_ , when we both know that my intellect could do _backflips_ around your . . ." but, oh damn. Back in the room, after the Marines had cleared it and Radek was interfacing with the water reclamation system, he'd seen -- but he _hadn't_ touched it, had he? Surely not.

Sheppard smirks. "I thought so."

"Shut up. This is your fault anyway." Rodney looks away from him, out the window. Their room is almost above Atlantis, and seems to be turning: one tower disappears off the left side of the window, while other towers slowly creep into view on the right side of the next window.

"In what way is this my fault?" Sheppard sounds amused.

"You made the duty schedule, Colonel. You were _sulking_ , and didn't want to be in the same room with me, when obviously you could have stopped me from touching -- anything, if you'd been there."

Sheppard is silent. Rodney looks away from the window, back toward where Sheppard is standing, and sees Sheppard watching him, eyes narrowed, looking thoughtful.

He says, "What?"

"I'm sulking?"

"Well, what else do you call it? I say one wrong thing, out of the multitude of wrong things that I'm sure I've said to you in the course of our friendship, and you let me get taken up in a flying room."

Sheppard reaches up to his shoulder and grabs the roll of rope that's hanging there. He winds a length of it around his hand, looking Rodney in the eye as he does. Rodney's eyes go wide.

Sheppard says, his voice pleasant, "Rodney, ask me how I found out about Harry Daghlian."

Rodney gulps and says, "How did you find out about Harry Daghlian." He watches Sheppard's fingers as they wind the rope, then unwind it. Three loops on, tight, and then three loops off.

"I did a report on him in college. Technology and Ethics: A Case Study."

But that means . . . Rodney feels like he's been hit in the stomach. "I don't understand you at all," he says.

Sheppard says, "No, you don't."

There is silence. Rodney looks past Sheppard at the city, watching towers disappear and reappear through the windows. Sheppard keeps winding the rope he's holding, and then unwinding. Wind, unwind, and then he looks at the rope in his hands, looks up through the skylight where it leads. He frowns, and gives it a sharp tug, and when it doesn't come down he tugs harder. When that doesn't do anything, Sheppard grabs hold of the rope with one hand and pulls himself upward, hand over hand till he's almost at the ceiling.

Sheppard says, "Rodney, when I get up there, I want you to grab hold of the rope and I'll pull you up."

Rodney says, "Are you joking?" The skylight window is huge, taking up most of the surface of the ceiling. There wouldn't be more than two feet in any direction between him and falling to his death.

"No." Sheppard uses the sleeve of his uniform jacket to knock bits of broken glass away from the window frame, and then swings himself up onto the roof. He looks down at Rodney and says, "Come on. Grab hold."

Rodney says, "Colonel, I would rather be burned alive."

Sheppard says, "McKay," and the things he doesn't say -- I've never asked this of you before, but I think I've earned it -- are showing in his face.

Rodney bites his lip and nods once, and says, "All right."

He walks over to the length of rope Sheppard left and winds it three times around his waist and twice around his arm. He holds onto it with his other arm and braces himself, waiting for Sheppard to pull him up. Once he's half over the lip of the window, Sheppard grabs his hand and pulls him to his feet.

Rodney wasn't imagining things; it's less than two feet to the edge, and there's no railing, nothing to keep them from falling, and oh god, the wind is making it hard for him to keep his balance and Rodney thinks he's going to pass out. He clutches at Sheppard's arms and looks down at the ocean far, far below. Sheppard laughs, low and close to his ear, and Rodney turns his head to stare because, is Sheppard _crazy_?

Sheppard's face is very close, his breath warm on Rodney's face. He's smiling, and he laughs again when Rodney frowns at him. Rodney says, "You are out of your mind."

Sheppard's eyes crinkle up. "Rodney, look at it."

"I don't _want_ to look at it."

"This is our city. Have you ever seen anything like it?"

Rodney looks out, at the towers and the walkways, the piers down far below them, spread out on top of the water. He looks at the sunlight catching on metal, the sharp spires and round balconies, and the ocean underneath everything, going out and out forever. He has never seen anything like it.

He looks back at Sheppard, and Sheppard is smiling, looking past him up at the sky. His hands are still wrapped around Sheppard's arm; Sheppard is so close that his chest presses against Rodney's when he breathes, and Rodney can feel Sheppard's smile down to his toes.

He looks back out at the city, and the room turns underneath them, and he almost says, "No, don't," when Sheppard radios Elizabeth to say they're ready to come back.

-

They were given rooms in the mayor's house for the night; given dinner, and more of that lovely tea, and then left by themselves with the tea service.

His first evening here, Rodney had had Essin's blood on the palm of his hand, a stain he'd missed when he was washing, and he'd watched the water being poured, how it soaked through the powder on the bottom of his cup and he'd thought, Of course. Sheppard had been sitting across from him at the table, talking with the mayor, and Rodney had wanted so badly to tell him, but he'd waited until they got back to Atlantis and told Elizabeth instead.

Elizabeth held her teacup, staring into it, and swirled the tea around. She said, "I hadn't realized," looking thoughtful.

Teyla said, "Some things we need to see for ourselves."

Elizabeth looked up. "Rodney," she said, "in your report, you said you believed the nutrients in tollan dust and those in the water could be engineered for Earth crops."

Rodney nodded. "I also said we would need a large quantity of tollan dust to test our theory."

"I know." Elizabeth ran a hand through her hair, took a sip of tea. She looked over at Sheppard, who sat silent at the end of the table. He looked back at her, expressionless. "A hundred and one decisions I didn't think I'd have to make in the Pegasus galaxy."

Rodney poured himself a cup of tea and said, "I was speaking with Carson before we left. He and Radek are tossing around the idea of trinium arm guards. I don't know if they told you?"

Teyla said, "Giving the Otorians a measure of safety in their farming methods might strengthen the bond between our people."

Elizabeth said, "Carson had mentioned something along those lines." She looked over her cup at him. "Arm guards?"

Rodney said, "I can get the plans to you with my next report."

-

After they've been beamed off the roof and Carson's checked them for injuries, but before Rodney can go back to his room and _sleep_ , they hold a meeting to try to figure out what the hell just happened. He's coming down off the adrenaline high, and feels floaty and strange. Carson said he was perfectly fine, but maybe he's strained something thinking about all the bizarre and uncommon ways he could have died today.

Radek has the room schematics up on the viewscreen. He says, "Walls came down from the ceiling here, here, here, and here, and the resultant chamber separated itself from the rest of the room by . . ." he frowns.

The corporal Sheppard assigned to them says, "It looked like it punched a hole in the wall, ma'am. Like, the wall just caved outward when it pushed, and then caved back in again."

"Which," Rodney says, "begs the question of _why_ , exactly, the Ancients would build a room that fakes earthquakes and flies."

Sheppard says, "Have you ever ridden a monorail at an amusement park? The ones that let you look at all the other rides?"

Rodney says, "What is it with you and _rides_?" He's going to go on and say something else about brains and scrambling, but Elizabeth puts her hand up and leans forward.

"John," she says. "What are you thinking?"

"Just that maybe the Ancients like showing off for tourists."

Rodney says, "Why would the Ancients build a monorail when they had transporters? And why the shaking?"

Sheppard shrugs. "It was ten thousand years old. None of the machinery we've seen so far has rusted, but that doesn't mean it can't." He catches a look at Rodney's face and says, "Come on, McKay. You were up there. You trying to tell me if the Ancients knew about a view like that they wouldn't have done everything they could to keep it?"

Rodney thinks about the shaking floor and broken glass, about the wind pushing him closer to the edge of the roof; he thinks about the way Sheppard smiled, and how sunlight hit the towers and the water. He says, "No, they would have kept it."

"Which leads me back to: monorail."

Radek says, "And so, what happens? You do not touch anything. You walk past the device, it hums, you don't move for three hours, you walk to the center of the room -- a landing pad? -- and it takes off."

Rodney says, "Correct. I did not touch, breathe, think, or in any way affect any Ancient earthquake device, whether in the center of the room or at the walls."

Elizabeth says, "Regardless of what turned it on, what is the room doing now?"

Radek says, "It is still there." He taps the viewscreen, and it shows a video feed from the central tower. The room, more like a box really, is floating out on a level with the camera, and turning slowly in midair. They all watch it for a minute.

Rodney feels his eyes start to glaze over, and he shakes himself. He says, "Malfunction?"

Radek shakes his head. "I do not know."

"Well, if it's the same to all of you, I'd like to go to my room and sleep and not think about this little incident for the next few years."

Elizabeth says, "Dr Zelenka, please keep me informed about this." Radek nods.

Rodney takes that as a sign that the meeting is over, and leaves.

-

There was a device that looked like an Ancient X-box, hidden away in the far corner of the room. Rodney didn't notice it until after he'd taken off the wall panel and started pulling out wires. It was small and square, with a row of thin horizontal slots on one side and a row of lights on the other, all off. He was far enough away that there wasn't any risk he'd brush against it, and he knew enough not to think 'on' at it until he could devote his whole attention, but he kept looking at it every few minutes anyway. It wasn't particularly interesting, but. Rodney wished he could show it to Sheppard.

He turned back to his laptop, and monitored the energy transfer for a while. Radek was talking to the Marines on the other side of the room; one of them said something quietly, and Radek laughed.

Rodney thought about Otori and the water there, the sunlight, the sky. He tried to think of something else to say to Sheppard, something that might make him answer. For a second he thought he heard a low buzzing sound come from the box in the corner, but when he glanced over at it nothing seemed changed. Rodney connected two of the wires together and spoke into his radio. "I've been very disappointed with the music we find on some of the worlds here," he said.

-

Rodney is startled out of heavy sleep by a knock at his door. He wanders groggily over to open it, and Sheppard is standing outside, hands in his pockets, looking tense. He frowns at Rodney and says, "Can I come in?"

Rodney waves him past and closes the door. He watches Sheppard pull a chair forward in front of the bed, and he sits at the foot of it when Sheppard takes the chair, willing himself to wake up.

Sheppard watches him. Rodney doesn't see the oddity of this at first. For a while he sits and tries to keep his head from bobbing forward, breathing deeply, his mind fuzzy, but then his head starts to clear and it hits him that Sheppard is _in his room_ , sitting there watching him. Rodney says, "Um."

Sheppard leans forward, arms resting on across his knees. He says, "The thing is, McKay, I _know_ you."

Rodney comes fully awake at that. He doesn't want to have this conversation. He especially doesn't want to have it in his own room, in his boxers, vulnerable, while Sheppard is wrapped up tight and unapproachable in his uniform jacket. He says, "That's comforting," and smiles a quick, false smile.

Sheppard says, "Not really. Because I know you, and I knew what you were doing, but I believed in you, too." He runs a hand through his hair. "That's a mistake I keep making."

Rodney sucks in a breath. He doesn't want to hear this. Not ever. "Apparently."

Sheppard looks down and doesn't answer. All Rodney can think right now is that when the room was shaking, out on the pier -- when the room was shaking and he knew he was going to die, what made him try to stand up was the thought that Sheppard was drowning. He says, "I thought we were sinking."

Sheppard looks up. "What?"

"I thought the city was sinking, back on the pier. I couldn't get to my laptop, and I thought -- I kept thinking that. That I had failed." His voice breaks a little on the last word. When he glances over, Sheppard looks shocked, like he didn't know Rodney knew those kinds of words.

And suddenly Rodney can't take any more of this. He says, "Stand up."

Sheppard says, "What?"

Rodney gets up off the bed and walks over, leaning down until his mouth is right over Sheppard's ear, and says, "Stand up." He presses his lips to the skin under Sheppard's ear, and hears Sheppard catch his breath. Sheppard stands, watching him. He says, "Don't move," and Sheppard says, "All right."

He doesn't try to take off Sheppard's clothes, but presses a kiss to the buttoned pocket of Sheppard's jacket. He kneels down and kisses Sheppard's stomach through his cotton shirt. Sheppard puts his hands on Rodney's head, fingers rubbing through his hair and making his skin feel electric. He sighs, and tucks his thumbs into Sheppard's pockets.

Sheppard is hard inside his uniform pants. He says, "Rodney," his voice low, and Rodney puts his mouth to Sheppard's zipper and holds it there.

Sheppard's skin tastes salty, when Rodney pulls his pants and boxers down. He mouths the crease of Sheppard's thigh, and the point of his hip bone, the skin underneath it, before putting his mouth on Sheppard's cock, opening slowly so Sheppard can move slowly in. Sheppard is making small, breathy moaning sounds above him, broken pieces of words and something that might be his name. The sound is driving Rodney crazy. He thinks, Trust me, I promise, and opens his mouth wider so he can take in Sheppard all the way.

Sheppard's hands in Rodney's hair are shaking. Rodney thinks about the tolla petals, and hands, about how the Otorians keep coming back and back like it's the most important thing in the world. Sheppard is like those flowers, Rodney thinks; it hurts and it's remarkable, and he would do it all his life. And then he can't think of anything except the taste of Sheppard's skin, the feel of it in his mouth.

Rodney reaches up with one arm and pulls Sheppard's hand away from his head, twining their fingers together. Their closed fists rest on the back of his neck. He rubs his thumb over Sheppard's knuckles and lets Sheppard thrust into his mouth over and over, and Sheppard comes with a soft moan and then is still.

One second; two. Rodney lets Sheppard's cock out of his mouth and pulls his boxers up, awkwardly one-handed, and leans his forehead against the fabric. He stays kneeling on the floor, his hand wrapped with Sheppard's, thinking, You can trust me, this is different, I promise. Sheppard's fingers tighten in his, Sheppard's other hand reaching out to cover them where they rest on Rodney's neck.

Rodney's going to say it in a second. I'll be better. Let me ask this of you again. He'll say it until Sheppard believes him, until it's true. In a minute he will stand up and kiss Sheppard, ask if he can call him John, and his throat will hurt but he'll keep talking. Not just yet, but soon, he thinks. I promise, I promise, I promise.


End file.
